Saturday, August 10, 2013

Kyrie Eleison (Lord Have Mercy Upon Us)

This blog has been very silent for a number of months. We've lived through a lot of upheaval and change during those months. About half of that time, we have been away from home. In fact, we just returned home in the wee hours of Friday morning after spending a few days with my family around my Grampa's funeral. Traveling really takes it's toll on a person.

I have been silent because I have had no words to share. My mind and energy was consumed with caring for my family while at the same time trying to process the immanent loss of my mother. I tried to squeeze as much time with her out of her last few months. This was made very difficult as the cancer advanced in her brain because it started changing how she interacted with her family and others around her. She went to sleep in Jesus on May 27, 2013. Her loss is huge and we are still slowly trying to figure out what life is like without her.

To compound the loss of my mom, two weeks ago we also lost her father. My Grampa's loss brought a new level of loss and hurt out in our family. We are still reeling with heavy emotions and trying to sort it all out while remaining supportive and connected as a family. It is going to take a lot of time.

Although I am really anxious to start writing and blogging again, I think it will still be awhile before I am able to sort us out and get back into a routine that will include it. We are starting a new season of homeschooling in our lives. Plus, somehow, I need to catch up on everything that has been left to slide while life has taken us elsewhere. In the meantime, I'd like to share a piece with you that captures some of the emotions and tensions that are swirling in my heart -- Constaninople by Christos Hatzis and performed by the Gryphon Trio.

3 comments:

  1. Hey Heidi. Thanks for your honesty and openness. I am sad to read that you've had some really low days but isn't that expected with all that has happened. Hang in there. I love you and value you and appreciate what you do. You are an amazing mother and wife and your mom would be proud. Hope this Christmas season has a sense of peace and love for your family. xoxoxo

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    1. Thank you for your encouragement! The support of my family and friends has made such a difference through this time. You are absolutely right that some low days are to be expected. I am really glad that I allowed myself to accept those days and honor my needs for solitude and reflection. Otherwise, I would still be really struggling. And through the rush and bustle of putting on Christmas for all of the kids, I think that my family really loved our time together and had a chance to heal in some small way.

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  2. The above comment was supposed to be linked with the next post! ;)

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