Saturday, December 01, 2012

A Bittersweet Time (#787-825)

The past three weeks have been quite difficult for me. The week after my week of insanity was a really good week for me, actually. I was able to work at a much slower pace and enjoyed the different things that I got done. I did not feel under pressure, and so was able to focus better.

But that changed two weeks ago. As I prepared for my trip to Calgary to see a specialist, I began to be more and more distressed. And I struggled with accomplishing things and was feeling quite discouraged. Thankfully, I had an uneventful trip down to Cochrane. And I made it to my appointment. The doctor got me into an ultrasound that same day. And I learned that I'd be having weekly ultrasounds. I also learned that I had a low lying placenta, and so we were looking at likely having a c-section. Even with all changes, I left that appointment feeling somewhat encouraged. Someone was finally doing something for my baby and I was glad. I was glad, even though it meant that I had one week to drive home, pack up our things and travel back to my parents' home.

A couple hours later, however, those plans were changed. My ultrasound was changed from Thursday morning to 7: 45 Monday morning and I was left feeling frantic and overwhelmed. I spent much of the rest of the afternoon in tears. But, we decided that it would still be best if I drove back to Fort McMurray, packed up our things and moved in with my parents until after the baby was born. That left me with 3 days total to drive 18 hours, pack everything that we'd need for 6+ weeks, make arrangements for some of my church responsibilities, and try to neaten the house a little, and one of those days was Sabbath. My mom drove with me and we were able to make a plan of what needed to be accomplished and packed. On Sabbath, I managed to get most of my responsibilities taken care of. It was one of those rare Sabbath's where I was at church much longer than Dave! And Saturday night and Sunday, we managed to get everything packed up and we got on our way by 5 pm Sunday evening. It made for a late night, but God watched our way and kept us safe.

This week, we've been juggling appointments for myself and mom. And we even bought a replacement car for Dave. It has been very busy and I'm exhausted right now. Thankfully, our baby girl does not seem to be anemic right now, though this is being monitored very closely. And thankfully, the placenta is no longer low-lying, so I don't have to face a c-section. I am glad that I am here, where the baby can be monitored. But at the same time, I am sad. I had to leave my home 4 weeks earlier than I was planning to. I didn't get to create a little nest to bring my baby girl home to. I don't have a cradle set up for her. I don't even have a space for the cradle ready. I'm missing out on preparing my home for Christmas and continuing some of the traditions I was starting with my boys last year. And once again, I will likely miss celebrating Dave's birthday with him on his birthday. The next two weeks are booked nearly solid with appointments as well. But somehow, we just need to make it through one day at a time, and I know that God can help with the stress.

blessings:
787. finishing the yummy cake pops
788. driving on the new overpass
789. watching the river freeze over
790. finally having days of sun and blue skies
791. an uplifting concert
792. a successful fundraising event
793. taking a day off
794. wish lists completed and sent off
795. my treadmill is set up
796. the basement moving along and being more useable now
797. more steps to getting ready for baby are done
798. food brought by a church member
799. getting baby clothes ready
800. Dave working from home for the afternoon
801. a quick appointment slot for Elijah (my nephew)
802. finding one last ball of yarn in the colour I need
803. checking projects off my list
804. some answers for Elijah
805. seeing friends and former church members
806. an afternoon rest
807. a very active baby girl
808. a quilt top completed in an afternoon
809. being with my boys
810. quilting gloves
811. hearing from a friend
812. Dave's help on the house
813. a supportive family
814. safe journeys between Fort McMurray and Cochrane
815. good doctors and medical care
816. no indication of anemia in the baby
817. each week longer the baby is growing in relative safety towards mature enough lungs
818. help from Mom & Dad
819. God's leading to a new car for Dave
820. courage for each day
821. two precious boys who are adapting so well to the change and chaos in their lives
822. Titus' smooth transition to a big boy bed
823. a place to live while away from home
824. generosity of our church family
825. prayers of friends and family.

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